Memorial website in the memory of your loved one
Tributes and Condolences
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Making the most of every moment  / Catherine Vanderkwast
I heard your story on the 17th Maart on Life Matters ABC Radio whilst driving across the Monaro Plain NSW. Thank goodness I had time on my own only being 1/2 way into my 3 hour journey to drive to a series of work meetings. I needed an hour to gather myself emotionally after your interview.

As I listened I was taken back to 1984 and into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit where our Thomas was born at 24 weeks. Kei Lui was his doctor and we trusted him implicitly. To this day we feel admiration and respect for his skill and compassion as well as those who walk in his footsteps and continue to do so. Our baby Thomas lived for 200 days and we think of him often and always have a special hug on his birthday. Just hearing your story and hearing Kei's voice was like it all just happened yesterday. Nothing prepares one for this type of event and life comes to a grinding halt in the face of it. The memory lives on and never fades but thank god the pain diminishes particularly the pain of seeing one's little darling struggle to survive.

I really admire you Sophie not only for your courage to speak about your experience but your continued desire to help others. You must have remarkable faith and fortitude not to mention strength of character.

Good luck and bless you! cate

We are thinking of u little princes  / Mandi O'Sullivan-Jones (Friend of parents )
Dear Henry Jasper & Evan Tommorrow 200+ runners will be running 21.1kms in yr memory with yr 2 little brothers watching on. Because of yr brave fight to stay w us much need funds have& will be raised to help other little souls like u. I have not met u but u have urged many people ESP yr gorgeous parents to do great things u should be proud. Sleep tight little princes we are thinking of u MandiOJ xx
Third anniversary notices  / Mummy

The following notices were in the paper on Friday 16th October 2009:

in the UK Telegraph:

http://announcements.telegraph.co.uk/inmemoriam/16-Sep-2009/16-Oct-2009/Cotton~Smith~-~Henry~Jasper~and~Evan/1/announcement105852.aspx

in the Sydney Morning Herald:

 http://notices.smh.com.au/memoriam/10/15/2009/10/22/2009/notice.aspx?surname=Smith

 

 

A beautiful poem sent by a mum moved by my boys  / Kate

Babies are Angels that fly to the earth
their wings disappear at the time of their birth
one look in their eyes and we're never the same
They're part of us now and that part has a name
That part is your heart and a bond that won't sever
our Babies are Angels we love them forever.

Anonymous

A truly amazing story  / Frigo Leanne

Dear Sophie,

I read about your story on one2one website, and then found this site. I just wanted to offer my condolences, and thank you for sharing such a wonderful story. Your boys are beautiful and are truly fighters in spirit and body.

Your story touched me very deeply, so thank you so much for sharing it. You are an incredible woman, and so amazingly strong (as, of course, is your husband Ash).

Love and luck to you,  Leanne

my love and best wishes  / Mary Goldfinch (none)
I have been so moved by your stories of the wee wee boys and their brave fight for life but even more so by your courage and determination to bring good for others out of your own sadness. As a mothercraft nurse for many years I am a real baby person and love helping new parens. I so hope that your bump in the 08 photos is now  keeping you on the hop and that Ash is the runner this year! My very best wishes to you all and I would love to support such a worthy cause.  Mary.
hi sophie  / Victoria Rowlands

hi,

i'm Blake, Mason and Jaden's mummy

i would like to thankyou for your kind words on the names in the sand website. i've just read about Henry, Jaspers and Evans fight for this world...brave little soldiers

our children are a playing together xx

lots of love

vickyxxx

An amazing woman I have met called Carly  / Sophie Smith (Mummy)

I have been lucky enough to come across an amazing woman, Carly and her angel baby, Christian.  Carly's writings to and about her baby in Heaven are inspirational, and she  has given me the most beautiful gift - she has written my babies' names in the sand on a perfect beach in Western Australia at sunset.

http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2008/11/henry-tim-jasper-cotton-and-evan-cotton.html

Thank you Carly xxx

What a beautiful, beautiful story  / Carly Dudley (A stranger )
Dear Sophie,

There are few words I could say right now to explain how I feel after reading your sweet boys incredible story. I feel honoured that I was given the opportunity to write their names in the sand.

What an awesome achievement you had with the marathon. Congratulations.

I feel almost silenced this afternoon as I sit here. I only know a 1/3 of your pain. I commend you on getting out of bed each day. What an amazing woman you must be. I will hold my girls tighter tonight than I did the night before.

Sending you all my love and hope for this year ahead of us.

With deep gratitude,

Carly Dudley

x
They are Gone - author unknown  / Sophie Smith (Mummy)

You can shed tears because they are gone
Or you can smile because they have lived.

You can close your eyes and pray they’ll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all they’ve left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see them
Or it can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember them and only that they’ve gone
Or you can cherish their memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what they’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.


OUR DADDY'S STILL OUR DADDY  / Sophie Smith (Mummy)
Please remember our daddy is as sad as our mum,
Our daddy may look fine but truth is he feels numb.
When he tells you he's fine thanks, he's telling white lies,
We know cos we see him alone when he cries.

He looks after our mummy and helps her feel right,
drying her tears speaks our names every night.
Henry, Jasper and Evan, we're still our dad's boys,
We just can't fill his house with our chatter and noise.

Our daddy's still our daddy even though we've gone.
Our daddy's still our daddy when life has moved on.
Please remember our daddy's our daddy forever,
Our dad's love won't end, not now and not ever.
Our Henry Tim  / Sophie Smith (Mummy)
The life we'd planned for you my darling first born baby boy
Was full of fun and games and laughter, happiness and joy.
The eldest of your triplet brothers a special boy you'd be,
First in line and so in charge of this great gang of three.

Our hopes and dreams for you sweet Henry gone the day you came,
but you brought a love to us, our lives can never be the same.
When I felt your tiny heart beat fast against my own
I felt a love so pure and strong that I have never known.

Your daddy kissed your face and cried - Your life with us too brief,
But the love we feel for you will last beyond sorrow and grief.
My Gentle Evan  / Sophie Smith (Mummy)
My darling Evan, my gentle son,
You brightened our lives and then you were gone.
If I'd known that in only ten days you'd have died
I'd never have wasted the time from your side.

I wish I could cuddle you just one more time,
And wonder at how your sweet face looks like mine,
Touch your blonde hair and your wiggling toes,
Your beautiful body and cute button nose.

Your first time in my arms was also your last,
Your daddy and I cuddled you as you passed.
We'll never forget you our beautiful Evan
Who brightened our lives before going to Heaven.
My Darling Jasper  / Sophie Smith (mummy)
My Darling Jasper

I felt every needle, each tube in your throat,
Every pain that you felt was mine too;
But your mummy was helpless to save your sweet life,
There was nothing at all I could do.

I wanted to kiss you and hold you in tight,
To make you feel safe and be strong;
To play with you, laugh with you, feed you and read to you
Take you home where you belong.

My love for you Jasper will never fade,
Now you’re with Henry and Evan;
And one day we’ll all be together again,
When Daddy and I are in heaven.
Thank you  / Kristy Greenhatch (Mummy to Harrison )
Last Sunday a group of my friends and I walked into the Coogee Cafe for yet another catch up.  Immediately we saw the collection tins with the precious little hand and footprint of your sons.  We all stopped and took a moment, why did we choose this cafe on this day?  Some of us had travelled all the way from Western Sydney.   Had we been drawn here for another reason? 

You see we are not childhood friends, nor did we meet eachother at school or work. The reason we had all come to know eachother was through the loss of our children. Each of us have been through the soul destroying process of losing our children in the third trimester and giving birth to still angels.  Can I just thank you for this wonderful site, the bravery you have shown is just inspirational.  I am sitting here in tears at the undying love you have shown your little boys.  You are the epitome of what a parent should be.

Love Harrison's Mummy.

Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisley improve the present, it is thine.  Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart - Henry Wadsworth Longfello
From 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran  / Sophie Smith (Mummy)
'When you are sorrowful look again in your hearts and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which had been your deepest delight.'
Kahlil Gibran
A poem written for Sophie from Iain  / Iain (friend)
Somewhere deep in my heart 
Rests a flower.
This flower shows what the universe knows
I feel it and try to describe it,
I look to the heavens
Yet hidden inside all answers reside.
Is it a lotus?
Is is a rose?
With each fragrant petal
My love silently grows.
always thinking of my baby boys  / Sophie Smith (Mummy)
We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find

Each morning when we awake,
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heart ache
As we try to carry on.

Our hearts still ache with sadness
And our secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.

Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still.

There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.

We hold you close within our hearts:
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again. 

(Author unknown)
a special gift  / Sophie Smith (Mummy)

A stranger in a shop gave me a little box with 3 glass angels and the following blessing:

When our spirits are low
And worry overcomes,
Three guardian angels remind us
We are never all alone.
Sent from heaven to guide
And to help us find our way,
Their loving blessings bring
Protection throughout every day.

Awestruck / Nell Lindsay-Smith (Cousin)
I am sitting here in Tanzania with tears pouring down my face.  I have never known such bravery as you two have shown.  I am awestruck and inspired by your boys and you two.  Now they are all in the care of Minnie and Gump and my Pa.  God Bless them.  Much love Nell xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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